Jungle Cruise

RADIO1'S MR. MOVIE!-MAD AMI 🌠 8/14/2021 4:16:45 PM 8.4

**Provided You -_SURVIVE_- All The "OVERKILL🤮 Mud & Slime, & The HUNDREDS Of Bugs|Bees🐝 IN The Slime" . . . . . . . You'll Find That The Film's Long, Enthralling Buildup🌺, And Its Eventual GRAND FINALÉ . . . Are Indeed . . . Absolutely, Positively SPECTACULAR💥😃 .** A "Good, Old Fashioned", **-{ _B I G_ }-** Screen Full Length Review . Viewed around August 02, '21 . ______________________________________________________ Frank Wolff : " Hey , McGregor ! . . . Had a girlfriend once, she was cross-eyed. Didn't work out. We could never see eye to eye ! " . ______________________________________________________ **1. " What A Ride 👏❗"** : This is a journey filled with Colour, Beauty, Awe, Drama, _Massive_-Spectacle, but **Most of all , " T O N S . . . OF _HEART_ " .** And then of course, there's all the **_Humour_.** Now, I like to think of myself as a person who has a ( fairly ) high bar when it comes to the funnies, so I just -_have_- to say, Dwayne Johnson's 'Frank Wolff' delivers so **MANY -{ _GENUINELY_ }- RIB TICKLING 'SPUR-OF-THE-MOMENT' PUNS** in Jungle Cruise ( 'J.C', for short ), that I -_Honestly_- couldn't help but get "drawn in", & to the fullest, at that . . . almost '_Every-Single-Time_'. Not to mention all the masterfully executed _Slapstick_ humour 😂 { a little taste of which is in the movie's -"Official Trailer 1"- ( August 2020 ) }. All in all, expect Two-hours-and-seven-minutes of Non-stop **" Lavish, Wholesome, -FAMILY - " entertainment .** **2. So, Does He Still Charm, Endear, & Delight ?** Short answer : **YES . . .** he can , & -_Does_- , still ( well and truly ) "Rock" The Boat. **HOWEVER,** I sincerely urge you not to expect any particularly 'Oscar-worthy' sort of performance from 'The Man' himself, Mr. Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson. Meaning { things like } : you're just going to get the 'Same-Old', run-of-the-mill _American Accent_ from him yet again . . despite him playing the role of a _Spaniard_ . . living in -Brazil_. ( Although to be fair, this was almost _Certainly_ a directorial-Call by the picture's absolutely **_OUTSTANDING_ 🌠** Director, Jaume Collet-Serra ; for reasons I -Shan't- disclose, for fear of giving away '_too much_' ). Simply -{ _Expect_ }- to see him put in a **"Thorough & Dedicated Performance",** with a few _impressive_ "Surprises" sprinkled in to the mix, for what it's worth. And inasmuchas the sister-brother duo of Emily Blunt's 'Lily Houghton' & Jack Whitehall's 'MacGregor Houghton' are concerned, ready yourself for an incredibly **'FUN'** journey with these two "_Effusive, mega-Talented Stars_ ", and veterans of Film and Telivision, respectively. In the "nascently Post-Victorian" setting of J.C, you are likely to find theses two characters to be nothing less than "sheerly " . . . **ADORABLE, CHARMING, & DELIGHTFUL.** **3. "Jesse Lon Plemmons" Was The Marvellous "Shock "...** of this huge movie { well for _-Me - _ ateast, that is to say }. He portrays the tyrannically _'Monstrous''_ German **"Prince Joachim :** _your worst nightmare straight outta World War 1_ ", in Jungle Cruise. In real life, he's the partner to bubbly, adorable global **'Giga-star', Kirsten Dunst** { _ALL_ the 'Spiderman' films ( _the ones with with Tobey Maguire, that is_ ) 2002-2007 }. So here's the thing. Not much having been a big afficionado, for the most part at least, of the whole **'Breaking Bad'** thing, { arguably his first 'REALLY, REALLY' big-break ( _as 'Todd Alquist', 11 Episodes, 2012-2013_ ) }, I'd somehow managed to let his **"WHOPPING💥" _Sixty-Three Acting Role Career_ ( _Thus_-**far, at least ) ; somehow slip under the radar, with the sole exception being his ( relatively ) "Diminutive" -yet "tremendously enjoyable"- part as the genuinely likeable 'Jimmy -Ordy- Ord' in 2012's massive blockbuster, 'Battleship'. And _Now_, to see him { almost as though } "coming out of nowhere", take on this _Way_ larger-than-life kind of part ; & play it with Utter, Consummate , **" C L A S S "** . . . . ( oh, & don't even det me -Started- about his _German Accent_  ). . . . suffice to say that his performance was 'Gloriously, Gleefully And  Mischievously',  well . . . . **" _IMMACULATE_ " .** **Summation :** It certainly bears mentioning, just before you & I part ways ...that I actually -_went_- on the **"_REAL-LIFE_ CRUISE"** ( that this veritable cinematic gargantuar gets its name from ) at the "_ANAHEIM_"-Disneyland... with my late, & **Super-Beloved Dad 💙,** on his 50th Birthday. Only problem is, I was very much younger at the time, & can -_Barely_- remember it. So, needless to say, this picture had a very special resonance for me. And indeed, if not for the all the titularly referenced, **"GROSS-OUT"** _Mud|Slime|Bees,_ I might just have given this film my { _trademark_ **;)** } 12 or -even 13- out of 10, ( reserved **-_Exclusively_-** for films that I REALLY, REALLY, REALLY enjoy ). However, as that stuff -_DID-_ actually bother me a fair bit, **( SORRY, BUT THAT'S JUST _-ME_-  )** . . . It's going to remain a **Solid 10 Marks Out Of 10.** Still " not too shabby , eh " . . . " _Wouldn't 'Ya Reckon_ 😅 💥❓" .

itsogs 9/25/2021 9:45:31 PM 8.4

Awesome movie, lots of adventure and humor. A must see for everyone. This one is a keeper. ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Per Gunnar Jonsson 5/16/2024 3:21:17 PM 8.4

To me this was great entertainment. A really nice rollercoaster of adventure with healthy dose of humour and fantasy. Dwayne Johnson is indeed one of my favourite actors these days and he makes a good performance as the somewhat crazy riverboat captain which is (a lot) more than he seems. This movie is meant to entertain and nothing else. I am quite happy that, despite it being a new Disney production, there’s really not much in terms of woke bullshit preaching in there. A little bit rubbish, especially at the end, but it’s bearable. Maybe Disney has learned the lesson as to how much that crap actually hits the bottom line. The movie is really a non-stop (almost) rollercoaster of action a ‘la Indiana Jones and Tomb Raider but with a more humorous slant to it. Some people complain about God knows what from the music score to the jokes to the camera movement to whatever. It’s a movie that are just supposed to entertain from start to finish without having to be deep, realistic or delivering some sort of message and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. Rather the inverse actually. It was great to just disconnect and watch the adventure and action. As I said, Dwayne Johnson did his role nicely as the riverboat Captain, Frank Wolff, but most of the rest of the main characters was quite okay. Sure, Frank’s jokes were cringeworthy but then, they were meant to be. MacGregor Houghton was at times a bit annoying but at times quite hilarious. I quite liked when Frank threw his ridiculously large luggage overboard although it was of course quite predictable. The weakest character was probably Prince Joachim who was mostly silly. He wasn’t far out enough to be a really noteworthy crazy psychopath but not “normal” enough to be taken seriously. If I should complain about anything it would be that the manoeuvres that wreck of Frank’s performed was, well, not very realistic although it was not as bad as that “handbrake turn” the idiot script writer wrote into Battleship. That one pretty much ruined the movie. Then, there’s also no way the Amazon river is deep enough for a bloody submarine. I watched this movie with my kids and girlfriend and we all had a really good time watching it.